The revised plan was that I'd need to go to a Chinese restaurant that I'd been to before so I could establish the benchmark #7 by which all following #7s would be judged. The benchmark would automatically earn 2-1/2 stars. I had just the right place in mind... Happy Restaurant in Gladstone. I've been going here since I was in the 5th grade, and I can say with great certainty that they haven't lifted a paintbrush or re-upholstered a bench seat since that time. When discussing my planned benchmark with my friend John, he ventured that they hadn't lifted a mop in that time frame either - but I'm not going to go there. Happy has been a staple in my Americanized Chinese food stable - in fact it's probably the only one that I regularly go to (by regularly, I mean like twice a year perhaps.) They offer their patrons a dining experience that could only be described as "timeless" - or at least timeless over the span of the last 30+ years that I'd been going there. Nothing has changed. Nothing will ever change at Happy. While I have no way of verifying this without seeming like some type of a weirdo or something, I strongly suspect that the EXACT SAME waitresses have worked there since I was a kid. And they haven't gotten any older - at all. Trippy.
Anyhow, you can imagine my horror when I went to call in my order yesterday afternoon, only to be met with the following message on their answering machine: THANK YOU FOR CALLING HAPPY RESTAURANT IN GLADSTONE. WE WILL BE CLOSED JULY 22nd THROUGH AUGUST 8th. PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE BEEP.
So I'm immediately thrown to the winds of turmoil. I was really looking forward to bringing home a fat sack of #7 from Happy and throwing it onto my digital food scale (yes, I'm a food geek and that's why I own a digital food scale.) From previous experience, their "to-go" #7 likely would weigh in at close to 5 lbs.
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